thankyou, pain

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading

So sick and tired of all the needless beating

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charlene britten,
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Monday, 29 June 2009

9th Grader ,Anyer and Lots Of Love

From 17-19 of June my beloved HBS ninth graders and I went to Anyer.this is the place where we spent our last days being together . there are two cottage and this one is the girls cottage,under this photo is the entrance of the place
here is our supercool teacher Mr. Parlin who accompanied us ,im sad that Ms. Briggit our homeroom teacher for 9B couldn't come ;( but at least Mr. Parlin and us had fun together ♥
And this is Archie our friend + the photographer :) thanks for the photos yaa

FIRST DAY
@school (around 7am)

our beloved buss (around 7.30 am)
stopped at diamond to fetch for our lunch

otw
oh there's me .the second photo is oka taking photos of the people at the backseat

arrived (around 11am)
first ones who got to the beach .anton,davin,rey,oka,archie,and me

hey dinner (chicken bbq ,fried rice ,sausages)

goodnight
first floor were playing cards till around 4 am then the second photo is the second floor ,outside the rooms .girls was scared of some "ghost" so we moved to boys place .btw there's me in white still awake
at 3am Mr.Parlin checked on us and he went to sleep .he pinched randi because he was sleeping too close wif me lol.then at 4am archie, randy and i went out to see this beautiful waves and we waited for sunrise.

SECOND DAY
preparing dinner
dinner

games
so they tied their legs wif baloons and we step on each others baloon ,i wasnt there .i was with randi watching them playing
we were playing fire ,rizal jumped over the fire .and stevan ,duh he burned his own red converse t-shirt -_____-at midnight we had this session ,we shared things .and in the end we sang this song and we all cried so very hard ;( but oh my gosh after that we hugged each other and that was the sweetest thang ;)
well i didnt hug all of them because i went to the beach wif my bf and i cried so hard because i was so scared that i wont pass grade 9 lol.and my beloved bf stayed beside me all nite long just to listen about the crap ,thanks bomi ♥♥

THIRD DAY
i didnt eat at anyer for three days and Mr Parlin was worried about me so he forced me to eat and i actually ate it all ,davin made me a warm tea too .thanks alot Mr. Parlin and Davin :)
then here we are (not all of us cause some were still having a shower).this is at marbella ,the view is sooooooo beautiful.
and after the awesome trip .around 9pm we arrived at school .then we went to summarecon mall serpong .but only mr parlin, archie ,rey ,bomi ,oka ,adi ,steven ,salsa ,thasia ,magda ,yoricksen and me
we watched this "hurt locker" so called film .it wasnt that exciting ,buttttttttt i saw this super handsome guy .he's tall ,white ,red lips aaaaand he's sooooooo my type because he's "gondrong" HAHA

okay my dearest 9th graders .i wrote this here so you guys can read it over and over to remind you that our last day will never be our last day ,because you will read this thang later on and maybe you will actually remember these days we shared and maybe you'll find out that we actually love each other :')
xoxo

No Sky Today

i wish i could skip today.my smiles are faking ,my eyes are tearing and im breaking
oh by the way ,the sky is falling
............goodbye

Friday, 5 June 2009

An Untitled Feeling

im having a real hard time right now .no one understands this feeling im dealing with .not my friends,not my family ,not even me .but it's not empty anymore ,i feel something .yes i'm pretty sure im feeling something .it's big ,it's dark ,it's cold ,and it sure is painful.
tonite i just knew my father knew about my self harming ,i thought it was better if he knew .but no .no it's not .when my friend salsa told me that my father told her about it and he told her to take care of me .tears ran down my cheek. i got so sad ,i told myself that i am a really bad daughter .i cant forgive myself ,no i cant .i broke my fathers heart yes i did and i will never ever can forgive myself.
okay i had alot to tell but right now i dont have the strength to do anything ,i dont even have the strength to think ,i just hope that i will always have the strength to breath.
and if any of the people i've disappointed reads this i could only say

im sorry ,im sorry for crying to much .im sorry for never being that strong. im sorry for hurting all of you wif my feelings.im sorry i was never enough.thanks for your tender touch and love .thanks for each help you gave ,but it's too late to help me .im sorry,
i love you

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Feelings Untold

dedicated for you that got me into this crap .you who made me a self injurer .you who killed my dreams and you who made me believe that fairytale was never meant for me

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

The Agonist-Forget Tommorow

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag as many friends.
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun

01) SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Hey nightmare where did you go-a skylit drive---------HAHA it actually make sense!

02) HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Sweet as revenge-potret kehampaan---------this is so right

03) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Sheila on 7-tunjukan padaku------------soooooooo right .impressing -,-

04) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
The agonist-and their eulogies sang me to sleep--------hem?

05) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Forever the sickest kid-catastrophe---------ha?hell noo

06) WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Jakarta Flames-Fall----------ha?

07) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
BFMV-tears dont fall------------ha?

08) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
peskins-hadapi dunia---------emm this doesnt make sense at all -________-

09) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
secondhand serenade-stay close dont go-----------yes!

10) WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Copeland-the day i lost my voice----------weird

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
yellowcard-only one--------YES!

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Sucide silence-bludgeoned to death---------ckck scary

13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Secondhand serenade-take me wif you----------aaaaaa yeesss!

14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The academy is-everything we had----------i guess so

15) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
BMTH-pray for plagues--------HAHA

16) WHAT SONG WILL PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Thirteen-cherry petite raspberry--------HAAHAHHAHAA

17) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Mariah carey-touch my body-------------LMAO

18) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
secondhand serenade-a twist in my story----------yess

19)WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
A7x-dear god------aaa it's soooo right ,this scares me i think my playlist can read my mind -________-

20) WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
ichood agedas-i made you a sad song------right again!! this is so awkward

21) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Eyes set to kill-violent kiss--------err this doesnt make sense

22) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
The agonist-forget tommorow

Way Too Cool

hey readers ,here i am again (okay faces are frowning and you people are going to say "like duh?where else are you going to be?this is your friggin blog"
okay so im just going to write about yesterday or shall i say this morning i slept at 6am because i was youtube-ing all night long. i found like a bunch of silly videos .this one is pwitty silly i think

and this one ,i was like "ha?what the heck?he seriously has some guts .this is wicked cool"

he's from this school called al-ikhlas in jakarta (im kinda guessing but it seems like that).i found alot more but i cant seem to remember what was it -____-

okay that's all for now ,im tired already .
byee dear readers ♥♥

ps: for the videos im aint no makin silly bout you guys but i seriously think you guys are cool :)

But baby, where they knock you down and out

Is where you oughta stay

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading So sick and tired of all the needless beating
Profile charlene britten, main blog Archives May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 September 2009 October 2009	Monday, 29 June 2009 9th Grader ,Anyer and Lots Of Love From 17-19 of June my beloved HBS ninth graders and I went to Anyer.this is the place where we spent our last days being together . there are two cottage and this one is the girls cottage,under this photo is the entrance of the place here is our supercool teacher Mr. Parlin who accompanied us ,im sad that Ms. Briggit our homeroom teacher for 9B couldn't come ;( but at least Mr. Parlin and us had fun together ♥ And this is Archie our friend + the photographer :) thanks for the photos yaa FIRST DAY @school (around 7am) our beloved buss (around 7.30 am) stopped at diamond to fetch for our lunch otw oh there's me .the second photo is oka taking photos of the people at the backseat arrived (around 11am) first ones who got to the beach .anton,davin,rey,oka,archie,and me hey dinner (chicken bbq ,fried rice ,sausages) goodnight first floor were playing cards till around 4 am then the second photo is the second floor ,outside the rooms .girls was scared of some "ghost" so we moved to boys place .btw there's me in white still awake at 3am Mr.Parlin checked on us and he went to sleep .he pinched randi because he was sleeping too close wif me lol.then at 4am archie, randy and i went out to see this beautiful waves and we waited for sunrise. SECOND DAY preparing dinner dinner games so they tied their legs wif baloons and we step on each others baloon ,i wasnt there .i was with randi watching them playing we were playing fire ,rizal jumped over the fire .and stevan ,duh he burned his own red converse t-shirt -_____-at midnight we had this session ,we shared things .and in the end we sang this song and we all cried so very hard ;( but oh my gosh after that we hugged each other and that was the sweetest thang ;) well i didnt hug all of them because i went to the beach wif my bf and i cried so hard because i was so scared that i wont pass grade 9 lol.and my beloved bf stayed beside me all nite long just to listen about the crap ,thanks bomi ♥♥ THIRD DAY i didnt eat at anyer for three days and Mr Parlin was worried about me so he forced me to eat and i actually ate it all ,davin made me a warm tea too .thanks alot Mr. Parlin and Davin :) then here we are (not all of us cause some were still having a shower).this is at marbella ,the view is sooooooo beautiful. and after the awesome trip .around 9pm we arrived at school .then we went to summarecon mall serpong .but only mr parlin, archie ,rey ,bomi ,oka ,adi ,steven ,salsa ,thasia ,magda ,yoricksen and me we watched this "hurt locker" so called film .it wasnt that exciting ,buttttttttt i saw this super handsome guy .he's tall ,white ,red lips aaaaand he's sooooooo my type because he's "gondrong" HAHA okay my dearest 9th graders .i wrote this here so you guys can read it over and over to remind you that our last day will never be our last day ,because you will read this thang later on and maybe you will actually remember these days we shared and maybe you'll find out that we actually love each other :') xoxo No Sky Today i wish i could skip today.my smiles are faking ,my eyes are tearing and im breaking oh by the way ,the sky is falling ............goodbye Friday, 5 June 2009 An Untitled Feeling im having a real hard time right now .no one understands this feeling im dealing with .not my friends,not my family ,not even me .but it's not empty anymore ,i feel something .yes i'm pretty sure im feeling something .it's big ,it's dark ,it's cold ,and it sure is painful. tonite i just knew my father knew about my self harming ,i thought it was better if he knew .but no .no it's not .when my friend salsa told me that my father told her about it and he told her to take care of me .tears ran down my cheek. i got so sad ,i told myself that i am a really bad daughter .i cant forgive myself ,no i cant .i broke my fathers heart yes i did and i will never ever can forgive myself. okay i had alot to tell but right now i dont have the strength to do anything ,i dont even have the strength to think ,i just hope that i will always have the strength to breath. and if any of the people i've disappointed reads this i could only say im sorry ,im sorry for crying to much .im sorry for never being that strong. im sorry for hurting all of you wif my feelings.im sorry i was never enough.thanks for your tender touch and love .thanks for each help you gave ,but it's too late to help me .im sorry, i love you Wednesday, 3 June 2009 Feelings Untold dedicated for you that got me into this crap .you who made me a self injurer .you who killed my dreams and you who made me believe that fairytale was never meant for me Tuesday, 2 June 2009 The Agonist-Forget Tommorow RULES: 1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle. 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer. 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS. 4. Tag as many friends. 5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing. 6. Have Fun 01) SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY? Hey nightmare where did you go-a skylit drive---------HAHA it actually make sense! 02) HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF? Sweet as revenge-potret kehampaan---------this is so right 03) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Sheila on 7-tunjukan padaku------------soooooooo right .impressing -,- 04) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? The agonist-and their eulogies sang me to sleep--------hem? 05) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? Forever the sickest kid-catastrophe---------ha?hell noo 06) WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO? Jakarta Flames-Fall----------ha? 07) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? BFMV-tears dont fall------------ha? 08) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? peskins-hadapi dunia---------emm this doesnt make sense at all -________- 09) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? secondhand serenade-stay close dont go-----------yes! 10) WHAT IS 2 + 2? Copeland-the day i lost my voice----------weird 11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? yellowcard-only one--------YES! 12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Sucide silence-bludgeoned to death---------ckck scary 13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Secondhand serenade-take me wif you----------aaaaaa yeesss! 14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? The academy is-everything we had----------i guess so 15) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? BMTH-pray for plagues--------HAHA 16) WHAT SONG WILL PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL? Thirteen-cherry petite raspberry--------HAAHAHHAHAA 17) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Mariah carey-touch my body-------------LMAO 18) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? secondhand serenade-a twist in my story----------yess 19)WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? A7x-dear god------aaa it's soooo right ,this scares me i think my playlist can read my mind -________- 20) WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW? ichood agedas-i made you a sad song------right again!! this is so awkward 21) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Eyes set to kill-violent kiss--------err this doesnt make sense 22) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? The agonist-forget tommorow Way Too Cool hey readers ,here i am again (okay faces are frowning and you people are going to say "like duh?where else are you going to be?this is your friggin blog" okay so im just going to write about yesterday or shall i say this morning i slept at 6am because i was youtube-ing all night long. i found like a bunch of silly videos .this one is pwitty silly i think and this one ,i was like "ha?what the heck?he seriously has some guts .this is wicked cool" he's from this school called al-ikhlas in jakarta (im kinda guessing but it seems like that).i found alot more but i cant seem to remember what was it -____- okay that's all for now ,im tired already . byee dear readers ♥♥ ps: for the videos im aint no makin silly bout you guys but i seriously think you guys are cool :)
But baby, where they knock you down and out Is where you oughta stay